License To Speak

Year-ender blog post 2008

30 Dec 2008 Leave a Comment

by Charlie in blog, philosophy, random thoughts and crazy wonderings, rants, whatnot Tags: 2008, year-ender

I’ve been posting year-ender blog entries since—I think—I started blogging, and I’ve been saying the same things over and over again, promising to keep certain people out of my life for good, only to welcome them back again thinking, what the hell? people change.

But you know what? People don’t change. So this goes on to saying I’m most probably not going to keep my promise again if I put it here. However, it doesn’t guarantee me either that my life would be different this coming year just because I didn’t put anything.

So instead of writing down new year’s resolutions that I’m sure I won’t be able to keep—and to prevent myself from disappointing me and anyone who gives a shit about me, I’m instead going to just look back on the past year and see what are the major changes that happened to me.

First off, I graduated this year, but I can’t say with flying colors. Even on the night before graduation, I still wasn’t sure if I was going to graduate. There were just many hold ups on my grades. But I did. So there. That summer I’ve been to a number of job interviews. I’ve been accepted to some, and rejected by some.

In May I accepted a teaching job near here. I really thought I would last, because it had been a fun summer training for me, the teachers seemed cool, the principal seemed humble and nice, and I thought there was little office politics in such a happy school. Boy was I wrong. I couldn’t even breath by the third month that I was teaching. I was so miserable, I was making my students cry almost every day (as opposed to making them cry just a few times a week—which is normal for me). The last thing I wanted to do was pull them down with me, so I decided to leave. It wasn’t the proudest moment of my life, but I did what I had to do. Plus I needed to review for the board exam anyway.

The following months I was shaken by the core by two people who were both important to me. Granted, I shouldn’t be surprised at all with Eric, but something happened that compromised my friendship with Jeric—which was much worse than what happened with Eric. One bad decision followed by another nearly made me break down, but I didn’t (or did I?).

In October, I got another job, this time not related to teaching. I was writing and re-writing articles for different websites. The job title was SEO, something which I think is gaining popularity these days? Or is it just me?

I’m still on that job, but I’m now working home-based. My first month and a half was spent reporting to the office in Makati. It was fun, but it was also very expensive, that’s why I’m more comfortable working at home now.

My friends went through some changes also. Some of them also got heartbroken, and some spent Christmas for the first time with a special someone. This year could not have been more life-changing—for me, for my friends, and I’m sure for everyone else.

This year has been my first year to live in the real world. To have to wait for my first paycheck, only to spend most of it for expenses in the house and barely have anything left for myself. I admit most of the time I don’t like acting responsibly too much, but then I realize when should I start? There isn’t a specific time to act responsibly. There’s no deadline to start growing up. You have to set it for yourself. No one is going to fail you because you acted immaturely or you didn’t do your homework. It’s not like during college when you know you have to act all mature because you’re a senior already, and if you can’t at least you have to pretend to act like one.

Growing up sucks, and I didn’t think I’d survive a year of it, but I did. So here’s to another year ahead into adulthood!